Stupid Alien Juggalos
by JennehLuv96
Summary: Gamzee hates Dave so much for mocking his religion and showing him the blasphemous Insane Clown Posse, so he's going to make him pay. But could he really kill Dave? Does he really want to, or just make him angry, like Dave does oh, so much to him? Rated M for possible later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Look for it on my tumblr, LightLoveAngel, under my writing tag "jen writes stuff".  
Anyway, enjoy.

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Dave has been in what he thinks Karkat calls a… Kismet fish? For a while with Gamzee, and though Dave would rather not get involved in those troll romance shenanigans -especially since Karkat shoved that godawful book in his face and tried to make that stupid shipping chart- He can't help but feel this weird hate towards Gamzee ever since he engaged in a strife with him, and it keeps coming back stronger each time they fight. Even though he hates him and just wants to piss him off in every way possible, he wants him in ways that make him wonder, why he hates him and wants to bed him at the same time.

Recently Gamzee has been making him a little bit paranoid and on-edge, every time he hears a 'honk' he'll get ready to grab his sword, eyes darting around the room. He'll never let anybody know that, though.

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are currently walking down a dark hallway in search of something Terezi asked you to get, she didn't say what it was in the note, she just said it was somewhere around here. You wonder why she wrote it in blood, purple-"HONK"

"_Shit,_" you think, and reach for your sword, "_How did I fall for that?_"

"Hey Dave… FIND WHAT YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING LOOKING FOR?" Gamzee asks, coming out of the shadows, holding Lil' Cal and grinning like a mad-man.

"Nah, man. Shit is hiding, scared of me. Doesn't want to be man-handled and brought in like some kinda fuckin' serial killer."

Gamzee laughed, "And what is it you're looking for? MAYBE I CAN HELP."

"I'm good. Don't know what I'm looking for anyway. Like the note was just some kinda fuckin' way to lure and surprise me." you glare at him from under your shades.

"I wonder what kind of surprise it is… MUST BE A GREAT ONE," he grinned, "Because I think you're way too fuckin' early."

"Or it was a hoax, a plot devised by some shitty juggalo mastermind, way too easy to tell." Gazmee sneered at the passive insult and you smirk when you notice.

"THEN WHY'D YOU MOTHERFUCKING COME? If you knew it was a trap all along."

"Because it's just too much fun pissing you off."  
You notice Gamzee trying to keep his cool, but the urge to attack was burning so fiercely in his eyes, you wondered how much longer he could keep the facade up. You decided to test.

"So who gave you the great idea with the note, anyway? Your 'mirthful messiahs'?" you asked him in a mocking tone, which sent him over the edge. He flash stepped and disappeared out of your vision for a split second, appearing behind you with your brothers sword in hand, swinging it at you. You quickly turn around and block his blow with your own sword, the screeching sound of metal against metal hanging in the air.

"What's the matter? I'm not the reason your 'religion' is fuckin' hilarious." With those words Gamzee attacked more fiercely and dodged more quickly, "Come on, dude. Don't get so mad, you know I'm right." you rambled on whilst still engaged in your strife, "Motherfucking MAGNETS," you tease, laughing as you dodge one of his blows, "How do they work?"

"Shut your motherfucking, BLASPHEMOUS MOUTH, MOTHERFUCKER." Gamzee shouted, shoving Lil' Cal into your face. You couldn't help but look into his plastic eyes, the sight of them is unnerving, along with his creepy smile. You swat Lil' Cal out of your face and sneer at Gamzee, causing him to grin again. You cautiously walk back, keeping your eyes on him. However it was near pointless to try and keep your eyes on him, when he could simply flash step away, which he did.

He seemed to have completely left, but you guessed that's what he wanted you to think. To lower your guard just for him to come up from behind and slice your head off, he was probably still lurking in the shadows, watching, waiting… You heard a quiet, yet shrill laugh. It reminded you of when you threw Lil' Cal into the sprite, and he laughed, and laughed… "HEE HEE HEE, HOO HOO HOO, HAA HAA HAA," echoed through the halls. Or was it all in your head?

The laughing grew louder, and deeper. Now you knew it wasn't in your head, it sounded closer too now. You felt breath on your ear, "What's the matter Dave? SCARED?" and felt a presence, but you couldn't see it. It being dark didn't help much with that. You knew it was Gamzee though. The whispering followed by shouting was unmistakable.

"Nah… why would I ever be scared of a shitty clown?" you ask rhetorically, eyes darting around the room, trying to find where Gamzee was, to no avail. But he quickly showed himself, appearing directly infront of you and immediately grabbing ahold of your throat, squeezing it tight, leaving you gasping for air.

"Because… THEY'RE MOTHERFUCKING DANGEROUS, MOTHERFUCKER. Killing you so, SO EASILY." he cackled with the uncontrollable force of the insane, grinning like he really was. You wouldn't doubt it. But maybe trolls just were, you know Terezi is pretty morbid.  
Gamzee leaned in close to your ear, loosening the grip on your throat just a bit and whispered, "I hate you so much…" with a strange, sensual undertone

"The feelings… are mutual.." you choke the words out, still finding it hard to breath with his hand squeezing your throat so tightly. He grinned wider and looked into your eyes, causing you to shudder. Your gut told you he got an idea. You're not sure what, but something bad.


	2. Chapter 2

Gamzee must have flash stepped, because suddenly you were in another room and not the hallway. That and you felt dizzy from the speed. You tried to gauge what room you were in, but it was hard because it was darker than the hallway, your vision blurred from lack of breath. "What are you gonna to do to me you pasty-faced asshole? Grab a bottle of Faygo and pour it over me in some kinda juggalo ritual?" you ask half joking. "I told you your religion is bullshit."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." he demanded angrily as he pushed you down onto a pile of cushions, pillows and a few ripped scale mates, causing your shades to fall to the floor. You were better able to make out the room. It had fancy rugs rolled up in the corners, empty flower pots and some chairs stacked together. Clearly one of the storage rooms, so you doubted anyone would be coming in here anytime soon.

"_Shit._" you think, figuring it was all up to you to get out of here now. But somehow, part of you didn't want to leave. You wanted to see what Gamzee would do next. Would he attack you again? Strangle you? Or... shove puppets or smuppets in your face, Cal? You shuddered at the thought. Gamzee must have noticed, and interpreted it as repressed fear rather than discomfort, because you vaguely saw him grin triumphantly.  
"Dave..." he said slowly "CAL IS TELLING ME YOU'RE A LIAR. Don't lie to me, Dave." he said in a mock pained tone.

"I'm not lying, I don't need to lie to you to get the upper hand." you scoffed and hoped he would believe it. He was probably just saying that to get to you. Yeah, it's all just a huge bluff on his part... Right?

"MOTHERFUCKING LIAR." he shouted angrily, grabbing you by the shirt with one hand and held you up high so your feet were no longer touching the ground. You grabbed his arm to try and release his grip. "You said you knew it was me, ALL A MOTHERFUCKING ALONG, but you didn't. I CAUGHT YOU BY SURPRISE. Isn't that right, Cal?" he spoke the last line directly facing Cal, which he held in his free hand. "TELL DAVE HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING LIAR."

He shoved Cal into your face, you looked him in the eye. He remained silent, with that grin plastered on his face. "_He can't talk._" you try to convince yourself, "_He's just a gog damn puppet. Nothing but wood and cotton._" but it was useless. The laughing echoed inside your head again, louder than before.

"**HEE HEE HEE, HAA HAA HAA, HOO HOO HOO, HEE HEE HEE, HOO HOO HOO, HAA HAA HAA,**" The sound was driving you mad, the hold on your facade was slipping. That's rarely ever happened, and when it has you were able to keep it together enough.

That wasn't the case this time, "LET ME GO!" you shouted as you struggled wildly to get free, "Get him away from me!"

"Not so cool now, ARE YOU DAVE?" he grinned, his sharp teeth suddenly terrifying. "Cal tells me everything, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, all your fears and weaknesses. YOU'RE SCARED OF ME. But don't worry, I won't kill you. NOT FUCKING YET."

Come on, pull yourself together, Dave. Don't let him know you're any more scared, be cool. Be cool. "Bullshit!" you spat. Damn it.

He pulls you closer, close enough to where you can feel his breath on your face. He dropped Cal to the floor, his now empty hand snaking up to your throat and taking a firm hold on it, along with the other. He was still holding you in the air, this time purely by your throat. You slowly started to feel dizzy and light-headed, vision blurring, nearing unconsciousness. You managed to choke out a few words, "Fuck... you..." weakly raising your middle finger, still grasping his arms in a futile attempt to remove his hands from your throat.

"Careful what you say, Dave... SOMEONE MIGHT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY." he grinned with mischievous intent and released his grip on you completely, letting you drop to the cold hard floor. You rubbed your throat as your vision was slowly returning to normal, still gasping for breath. You glared up at him as he grinned down at you, and just as you began to get back on your feet, he tugged you closer by your shirt again.

You swore you heard a tear, but that didn't concern you much, because without a moments hesitation, Gamzee kissed you with a rough and hard force. You pushed yourself away enough to where your lips were no longer touching, "Dude, what the fu-" he interrupted your sentence with another kiss. This time he was biting. Hard. You made a disgruntled noise and bit him back, ignoring the blood dripping from your lips.

"_What the fuck is going on,_" you think to yourself, "_We were just fighting, he was strangling me, and now we're __**kissing**__?_" the thought baffled you, but you didn't break your lip-lock, instead you tried to bite him as hard as you could, barely puncturing his skin enough to bleed. You yanked at his hair with one hand and one of his horns with the other, hoping it was sensitive to that. Wishing it hurt him.

He reciprocated by digging his fingers deep into your back, dragging them along to where it burned and left marks. You let out a faint pain filled groan, he chuckled sadistically, seeming very pleased with where this was going. Where _was_ it going?


	3. Chapter 3

Gamzee pushed you down onto the pile of cushions, but this time he came down with you. He tried to bite at your neck, but you held him back by tugging on his hair and bit his collarbone. He let out a deep growl, yanked you back by your shirt and began to strip it off eagerly. "Hey wait a-" you tried to say, but Gamzee interrupted.

"Shut the fuck up." he snarled and stopped you from speaking again by pressing his lips hard to yours, slipping his tongue deep into your mouth as his hands now worked to strip off your pants. You bit down on his tongue in hopes he would stop and give you a chance to speak, but his reaction was nothing more than a growl. With you being naked now, you realized how strangely turned on it all made you, you were hard, the ache and desperation for contact was almost painful.

Gamzee leaned away from you and you caught him looking at your shaft. He seemed pleased and equally aroused, a quick glance at the bulge in his pants confirmed it. "I thought you _hated_ me?" you mumble, still clueless as to what was going on. He slowly crawled back with his lips twisted up into a dirty smirk and leaned into you.

"I DO HATE YOU, SO FUCKING MUCH." He bit at your cock, causing you to gasp in pain. "Why would you ever doubt that..?"

"Because you're-" you grunted as he started to suck, "sucking me off!" Gamzee ignored what you said, aside from the slightly confused expression he made. Then it clicked in your head, "Oh I get it, this is some kinda weird alien juggalo shit isn't it?" you knew it was just some weird alien relationship, the kismesis thing you couldn't quite grasp at first. But would you really pass up the chance to fuck with him? "Oh I hate this guy so much, better suck his dick!" you snicker.

Gamzee glared at you in a way that said "Shut up or else." and bit you harder, causing you to groan in pain. His sharp teeth piercing your sensitive flesh wasn't the best feeling in paradox space, but you egged him on still. "If this is how you guys blow each other I don't wanna know how you flirt. Slapping each other in the face?" you laughed at the thought. Gamzee snarled and pulled away from you, standing up and tugging his own pants down. He knelt down in front of you with his cock out right in your face.

"MOTHERFUCKING SUCK IT." he commanded as he shoved it in your mouth. You nearly gagged from how suddenly and far he pushed it in. But, with a scornful glare, you did as he said. You started to suck and bite at him hard, tugging at his balls and clawing at his thigh with your hands. It continued to go like that because you didn't have the power to push him off nor could you say something to make him change what he was doing, all you could do was paw, tug and squeeze various places in hopes it would hurt him. It probably did, but the bastard was probably enjoying it too. You dug your fingers into his member while squeezing, sucking and biting it hard. It just made him moan and thrust into your mouth. You thought you were going to gag, but didn't. You could tell he was getting close to climax with the way he trembled and groaned.

An idea hit you then, and you reached for your pants to grab your MP3, scrolling through it while Gamzee's head was leaned back, staring up at the ceiling, so he wasn't paying any attention. _There it is_. you think and smile to yourself, pressing play and blasting the volume.

A shitty tune began playing, along with faint laughing and two voices, "We gotta theory, you see Mike? We got a theory, about magic, and miracles." Insane Clown Posse, Miracles. Kept on your MP3, for ironic purposes. Obviously. That is _so_ totally why you keep that on there and it has a dozen plays... But now it has another use, to play in moments like these.

Gamzee let out a sound of rage, "Dave motherfucking strider... YOU FOUL BLASPHEMER!" he suddenly glares at you, his sclera tinting red, his sharp teeth bared with his lips curled back in a snarl. He grabs you by the hair and yanks you away. Despite how that hurt, you just laugh at how much he's flipping the fuck out right now, glad you don't have his nasty alien junk in your mouth anymore. "You'll pay for your blasphemy, you will, MOTHER, FUCKING, PAY!" he screamed in your face when he yanked you closer by the head.

You cringed away, "Your breath is rank as fuck, Faygo really is piss isn't it?" he started to shake with rage and spat in your face, you made a disgusted noise. "Dude, gross." You grabbed one of his horns and yanked as hard as you could, kneeing him in the stomach. He made a strangled sound of pain and dropped you to the ground. You quickly got back on your feet, grabbing your clothes and shades and made your way towards the door so you could find your sword. But you were unable to get away fast enough as Gamzee grabbed you by the hair again, yanking you back and causing you to yelp in pain. "Fuck!"

He pulled you close to enough so he could whisper in your ear, "You can't escape us, Dave..." _Us?_ you wondered, but only for a moment, because the laughing and giggling started again. Your eyes darted around the room, but why were you doing that? Cal can't move, _he can't move, he's a puppet, he's just wool, HE CAN'T MOVE._

"Oh yeah? I wonder what your 'muah-rail' has to say about that." you said, panic showing in your voice tone. "KARKAT YOU SHITTY MOIRAIL!" you scream, voice slightly shaky. You felt Gamzee release his grip on your hair, you turned around and he was no longer there. You looked around the room and he was gone as far as you could tell. "I win!" you shout into the darkness to make sure he wasn't coming out again. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard footsteps, but you calmed down when you heard a familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?" Karkat shouted louder and more angrily than usual. You laughed a little, relieved. But panicked again when you realized you were completely naked and did NOT want him to see that. You quickly put your clothes and shades back on, along with your blank, 'cool-kid' expression. The footsteps stopped and you look over your shoulder to the door and a glaring grumpy troll.

"'Sup Karkat."


End file.
